Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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