i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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