You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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