you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
