As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
