Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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