Three words: puerto rican gang bang
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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