Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
