hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
