My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
