her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
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He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
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On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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