just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
