i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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