whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
God, I missed his penis.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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