Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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