It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
