Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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