I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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