I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
