I'm eating all of the evidence.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
