i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
