Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
