remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
