i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
