I'm lost and stupid without you.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dignity is for republicans.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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