Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Help. Why am I so naked?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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