So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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