I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize