worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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