butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
