dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
