I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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