the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
