he shaved USA in his pubs
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
