either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
