Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
