Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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