I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
