Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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