No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
