We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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