Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
