Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
