just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
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What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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