Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
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He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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