; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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