is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
