He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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