i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
