just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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