the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
