I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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