i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
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We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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