There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
