so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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