I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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