The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
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A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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