don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
