go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
