i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
