He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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