Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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