Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
