So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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