Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
