Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
